We arrrrrrrrrrrrre Liiiiiiive.
We Open up with a recap video of last week’s Raw. Will Triple H be allowed to compete with Curtis Axel tonight?
We go live in the Arena and Triple H’s music hits! He’s on his way to the ring for the match, looks like it may be happening…
Match 1 – Triple H vs. Curtis Axel
It’s on! The bell rings, Triple H goes right on the attack, dominating Axel… for about a minute before Mr. McMahon’s music hits. He comes sauntering down as the match continues… Vince orders the bell rung. “Winner of this match as a result of a DQ, Curtis Axel.” And now Vince walks out with a smile on his face! Trips is yelling, as Heyman & Axel are celebrating. Trips, using his authority, has the match restarted. Puts Axel in a headlock, and Vince is coming out again…. annnnd the bell is rung once more. “The winner of this match as a result of a forfeit, Curtis Axel.” Triple H again uses his authority to order the match restarted… as a 60 Minute Iron Man Match! Not kidding folks…
Vince grabs a mic and orders Axel to leave the ring. Vince grabs the ring bell and walks out with it…. Triple H stands in the ring looking angry. Wowsers. What a start.
Up next, Dean Ambrose vs. Kane.
Backstage HHH is yelling at Stephanie, who’s crying and agreeing that what Vince did was wrong. “Don’t hurt him, he’s not getting any younger. Please Paul. Don’t hurt him.” Trips tells Stephanie to go talk to Vince. The pyro goes off, we’re ready for….
Match 2 – US Champion Dean Ambrose vs. Kane (Non Title)
No bell ring because… Vince walked out with it. Kane in full control early. Ambrose hasn’t gotten much in. A referee just ran the ring bell back down to ringside. haha. They take the fight to the outside now. Ambrose jumps off the steps and catches a chop to the throat. A “Let’s go Ambrose” chant as we go to commercial.
Back live and Ambrose is in control now. Nothing spectacular. We see Daniel Bryan & Randy Orton watching the match backstage. Kane with a powerslam for a nearfall. Ambrose soon after goes for a sunset flip but Kane grabs him by the throat and picks him up, then continues the beatdown. Sidewalk slam for a 2 count. Kane with a HUGE flying clothesline off the top, Ambrose rolls out of the ring, then Seth Rollins & Roman Reigns jump Kane for the DQ. Orton & Bryan are in the ring for the save. Kane/Bryan/Orton standing tall as The Shield retreat….
Seth Rollins will face Daniel Bryan later tonight. AWESOME. And Orton will face Reigns.
Backstage Orton, Bryan, & Kane are arguing. Bryan says Orton has “bad little tattoos” haha. Vickie Guerrero just announced Daniel Bryan & Randy Orton vs. Seth Rollins & Roman Reigns for the Tag Team Titles at the PPV. Kane: “This is horrible. This doesn’t make any sense.” Vickie gives Kane a US Title Match with Ambrose at the PPV, then Kane smiles and hugs Vickie. Jeez.
Miz’s music hits and he’ll be in action next…
Match 3 – The Miz vs. Cody Rhodes
They announce it will be Miz/Barrett one on one for the IC Title at Payback due to Fandango’s concussion. Miz has shaved his Kyle Reese beard. Cody clips the leg and is in control. Stomping Miz while he’s down. Miz hasn’t gotten much in at all. What’s with all the one sided matches? Cody continues working on the leg. “This is absolutely fantastic, this all plays into the hands of me.” – Barrett.
Soooo Miz reverses a leg hold into the Figure 4 and Cody taps out. Miz hits zero offence and wins with a Figure 4 by submission. Paul Heyman comes out and announces that Curtis Axel will be replacing Fandango and it WILL be a Triple Threat Match at Payback.
Axel grabs the mic and proclaims that he will be the new IC Champion come Sunday.
A hype video for the return of Mark Henry next week on Raw is shown. “DAT IS WUT I DOOO.”
Up next, we’re gonna hear from Chris Jericho.
Big long recap of all the HHH/McMahon stuff from earlier.
Vince & Stephanie backstage. Vince is ignoring Stephanie. She says what he did was embarassing, and Vince just walked all over HHH out there. “I’m not getting any younger, what’s that supposed to mean?” Vince says business comes first. Family or not.
Jericho’s music hits and he’s on his way to the ring.
Jericho says he’s faced everyone. Names many, including Austin, Rock, Foley, Eddie, etc. He says nobody takes him to the limit like CM Punk. He says Punk is so damn good because he truly believes he’s the best in the world, just like Jericho does. That’s why they’re such evenly matched opponents, they’re so alike. This Sunday at Payback “Punk/Jericho III continues the classic trilogy” he names the WM28 and Extreme Rules 2012 matches. (What about the best, the Raw match from a few months ago?) Jericho says he has to beat Punk at Payback. Dolph Ziggler’s music hits and he comes to the ring flanked by Big E and AJ. Dolph says he’s one of the best performers in the world. They trade entertaining insults and Jericho challenges Ziggler to a match tonight right now. Dolph says “You want a match? YOU GOT IT… with Big E Langston…” We go to commercial as it looks like this will be official…
Match 4 – Big E Langston vs. Chris Jericho
We come back from commercial with the match in progress, Jericho is favoring his knee and Big E is in control. He applies a neck vise on Y2J. Jericho sidesteps a charging Big E a minute later and sends him flying over the ropes. Jericho follows him out and takes over control. Big E again takes control back, then smashes Jericho into the steps and rolls him into the ring for a 2 count. Big E with 3 shoulders to the ribs in the corner, followed by a big running one. Big E goes for another running shoulder, Y2J sidesteps it, Big E hits the post. Roll up. 1, 2, Big E kicks out, pops up and and knocks Jericho down with a tackle. Big E back in control. Goes back and forth for a minute before Big E catches Jericho mid-crossbody and drops him with 3 consecutive backbreakers. Ouch. Jericho fights back and HITS a BIG crossbody off the top for a 2 count, Ziggler distracts Jericho, allowing Big E to hit his tradmark “RUN OVER MY OPPONENT” running tackle. Del Rio jumps Dolph outside, Jericho ducks a Big E attack, and hits the Codebreaker. Jericho pins Big E for the win. Del Rio smiles on the stage.
We’re back and Zeb Colter’s on commentary. It looks like it’s time for…
Match 5 – Antonio Cesaro vs. Sin Cara
Cesaro begins outwrestling Cara at the bell as Colter calls Sin Cara an “illegal” on commentary and keeps harping on it. Greatness. Cara with a beautfiul hurricanranna on Cesaro, then goes to the top but Cesaro crotches Sin Cara up there, then takes control. Stomping him down. Cesaro with a beautiful gutwrench suplex then grabs a chinlock. Another slam. Cesaro now with forearm shots and stomps on the ground. Brutal. Chinlock again. Sin Cara coming back with a superkick, and a flying headscissors. and a slingshot sunset flip bomb. Nice. Cesaro kicks out at 2. Sin Cara goes up top, but gets caught in mid air with a backbreaker. NEUTRALIZER. 1, 2, 3. Cesaro wins.
New Wyatt video. Sufficiently creepy. I can’t wait for his Raw debut. You guys who aren’t familiar with NXT are in for a treat.
Later tonight. “John Cena & Ryback: Face To Face”
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Sheamus vs. Damien Sandow will be on the live Payback free preshow this Sunday.
Backstage Brad Maddox & Vickie Guerrero are talking about a Hardee’s Bacon Burger… Vince walks in… Criticizes Vickie’s decision to allow Ryback & Cena in the same ring later. It’s putting the PPV main event in jeopardy. Vickie says it’s great TV, Vince says it’s not. Maddox suggests allowing Ryback/Cena’s lumberjacks to the ring tonight too, to keep them from tearing eachother apart. Vince likes that idea.
Back to the arena and Orton & Bryan both make their entrances, we go to commercial and we’re gonna have Reigns/Orton next.
Match 6 – Roman Reigns vs. Randy Orton
We’re underway as they lock up. Some back and forth culminating in a nice dropkick from Randy Orton. Stomps. A big knee drop. A one count. They go outside and Orton breaks Reigns’ back over the barricade. Brutal. Back in the ring Randy’s in full control. Orton misses a knee drop allowing Reigns to go back on the attack. Back and forth for a few minutes we go. We go to commercial and come back to Reigns in control of the match with a chinlock. Orton tries to come back but gets caught with a stun gun, and a clothesline. Some more back and forth and Orton hits Reigns with a back suplex. Clothesline, Clothesline, duck, Powerslam. Orotn on fire. Unique backbreaker follows it up. Orton sets up… and hits the through-the-ropes DDT. Setting up for the RKO…. Rollins runs in, but Orton is one step ahead and catches him. Bryan runs in. Schmozz. We get a No Contest. The crowd is going INSANE with YES Chants….
We’re going right into…
Match 7 – Seth Rollins vs. Daniel Bryan
“For the first time ever” – Michale Cole. Oh yeah, Michael? haha. On fire right from the start. Bryan with Yes kicks and more, in full control. Elbow, Kick, Elbow, Kick, brutal. The grounded crucifix elbows ala The American Dragon. Amazing. Sets up Rollins for the surfboard… Rollins gets to the ropes. Bryan continues the assault. Rollins goes outside, but gets caught with a flying knee outside. Back in the ring. Bryan gets caught with a flatliner into the middle turnbuckle. OOF. Rollins takes over. Grounded punches. Now ROLLINS going for a surfboard on Bryan… and he gets it. BRYAN SITS UP WHILE UP IN THE AIR IN A SURFBOARD AND ESCAPES. WHAT?! Bryan gets Rollins in it. BENDS HIM ALL THE WAY BACK AND LOCKS IN A DRAGON SLEEPER ala Jushin Liger. Amazing! For the second week in a row Daniel Bryan is channeling his former self from ROH for a great match! We go to commercial….
We’re back and Rollins has Bryan in a headlock. Bryan coming back. Elbows. Right hands. Kicks. Off the ropes, and Rollins catches him with a heel kick. Rollins back in control. Rollins off the ropes, and BRYAN CATCHES ROLLINS IN MID AIR and locks in a single leg crab. Rollins escapes. Bryan with a BRUUUTAL running dropkick in the corner, and ANOTHER in the bottom turnbuckle. Jeeeez. Rollins ducks an enzuigiri, and hits one of his own. This is awesome. Now Rollins doing Bryan’s Yes Kicks. Bryan ducks, goes for a german, Rollins reverses goes for a German. Bryan LANDS ON HIS FEET, goes for a hurricanranna… but get POWERBOMBED INTO THE TURNBUCKLE! We keep going. back and forth. Rollins goes for the flying knee, Bryan ducks, hits a Rolling german suplex ala Doug Williams, and a HEAD KICK. 2 COUNT ONLY! They’re on the top rope now. Rollins ends up crotched, Rollins counters a top rope back suplex with a crossbody in mid air. Amazing match!! This BETTER BE on the best of 2013 Raw DVD. “This is Awesome” Chant breaks out. Roman Reigns tries to interfere, Orton stops him, Bryan catches Rollins in a SMALL PACKAGE! 1, 2, 3! Bryan Danielson defeats Tyler Black on Monday Night Raw with a Small Package. Who ever thought they’d read that? Amazing match, post match RKO for Rollins.
Another 5 minute long recap of the HHH/Vince saga.
And up next Kaitlyn’s secret admirer reveals himself…
Kaitlyn’s in the ring… BIG E is coming out in a nice shirt/slacks carrying a bouquet of flowers…. He hands them to Kaitlyn. Big E proclaims that he cares abour more than being a tough guy and being Dolph’s heavy, he cares about Kaitlyn. Ever since he first saw Kaitlyn, she was all he could think of. He awkwardly leans her back like he’s gonna kiss her….. then.. DROPS HER ON THE GROUND. Aj out now to mock Kaitlyn. AJ says she spent the last year of her life letting men hurt her. And her “best friend” Kaitlyn was too busy chasing the Title to be there for AJ. This was AJ’s plan to humiliate Kaitlyn. AJ says Kaitlyn may be able to beat her in the ring, but AJ can beat Kaitlyn at mind games. AJ calls Kaitlyn sad, pathetic, weak, and pitiful. Then calls her trash. “You have no love, no friends, and none of these people give a damn about you. The only thing you have that’s worth anything is that Diva’s Title. And come Sunday? You won’t even have that.” This is actually a very good promo. “Pathetic, useless, unloveable COW” wsa the straw that broke the camel’s back and Kaitlyn decks AJ and Aj rolls out of the ring. That was actually really good stuff. Look it up on Youtube tomorrow.
ANOTHER Creepy-ass Bray Wyatt video. “Whether they like it or not, we will pry their eyes open and force them to watch.” Children screaming. “We’re coming.” This is sick and twisted stuff. I love it.
Back from Commercial and we have Damien Sandow ripping on Sheamus in the most entertaining way possible. “SILENCE!” His “ignoramus opponent this evening.” is R-Truth.
Match 8 – Damien Sandow vs. R Truth
Sandow obliterating Truth here. But Truth is eventually able to hit a nice little series of moves ending with a face-first suplex for a 2 count. Sandow clips Truth’s knee though, and hits a unique side slam for the 3 count. The Silencer, it’s called, according to JBL. Sheamus’ music hits and he comes out on stage with a mic. “See you in Chicago, fella.”
Backstage, Stephanie is looking for Vince. She tells one stage hand to find Vince and tell him to meet her in her office, it’s about business….. then finds another stagehand and tells him to find HHH and tell HIM to meet her in her office, it’s personal. Uh oh.
We get a Ryabck/Cena hype video.
The lumberjacks are making their way out and it seems to be the WHOLE DAMN ROSTER. Commercial again.
Backstage Vince & Trips are arguing, and Stephanie screams “HEEEEEEEEEEEY!” Scary. “You two, work this out.” She walks out. Vince says to HHH “you’re bigger than that, you’re too big for a match with Curtis Axel.” wow. Vince is saying he wants HHH to stay at a desk with a pencil where he belongs now. “that’s bigger than any match.” But then Vince says, he’s gonna go ahead and give HHH what he wants, a match with Curtis Axel next week. HHH says, on second thought he doesn’t want it anymore. Vince says “Dammit I wanna see it, you WILL wrestle Curtis Axel next week.” Now Stephanie suggests a group hug, and HHH & Vince don’t want to… they evenually do. This is terrible. haha. I think HHH manipulated Vince into giving him the match. Axel vs. HHH next week I guess…. maybe.
Here come Jyaaaaaaaaaahhhhn. SEEE-NAAAAAHHHH.
Now out comes Ryback in the back of his Ambulance. “WAKE UP!”
Ryback’s staying on the stage. Cena says Ryback’s scared. Ryback says he can tear through every person in the audience if he wanted to. He’s staying on the stage for CENA’S benefit, not his own. Ryback says he should’ve been WWE Champion 3 times over. The TLC match, The 3 way at Survivor Series, and Hell In A Cell. Cena says he gave Ryback his spot in that match. Ryback says that’s when the problem started. Ryback got too popular, too fast. And that scares Cena. Cena says Ryback’s really good at making excuses. A lot more is being said. These are the main points. Ryback CAN see Cena. And Cena’s full of crap. The legend of John Cena doesn’t grow anymore, it ends when he beats Cena at Payback and becomes WWE Champion. 8 Months ago, Cena gave Ryback his spot. This Sunday, Ryback takes Cena’s spot. Cena thinks, this Sunday, Payback’s a bitch. They try to brawl, but the entire Raw roster does their best to keep them apart. We go off the air with 10 people holding Cena on one side of the ring, and 10 more holding Ryback on the other side.
Thanks for joining us guys. Have a good night!
